So I left off where the girl was carried away in an ambulance, and the young kids parked next to us were handcuffed… right? Right.
We didn’t know what was going on until our crowned Prince of Detail for the day (Tommy, who’s also a lawyer) gave us the story. According to him, the kids started to get sloppy drunk. After playing games where they took shot and shot the group of 5-6 high schoolers started passing out in their lawn chairs, throwing up, and spilling bags of potato chips on the grass. If they had a food spread like mine they would have some substance on their stomachs, but that is neither here nor there.
The smallest girl of the group was a petite Blondie who wanted to pass out, and this proved very inconvenient for the rest of the group. Therefore her friends shoved her in the back seat of the SUV they drove in.
As the partying continued, the kids got more rowdy, more loud, and more obnoxious. They even began to throw sandwiches and other food at Bill’s truck and giving the rest of our friends attitude for saying “Hey! Stop it!”
That’s when one of the underage drinkers stumbled to the SUV, opened the back door, and the petite Blondie girl fell… and when I say fell… I mean face-planted onto the grass and did not move for a few minutes. All while other members of this high school group were berating the fine folks who came to tailgate with Bill & Kim.
“The timing couldn’t have been more perfect!” says Tommy. “Just after the girl falls out of the car, and the kids are still running their mouths at us, a police support vehicle passes our tailgating spot.”
“Excuse me, officer.” Says Tommy. The rest is history until we got to tailgating spot. That was when the cops came over and asked for all of the children’s IDs; some didn’t even have drivers licenses. The cops found the injured face-planting girl and send her away in an ambulance, throw cuffs on the snotty kids who were asking for warrants (dummies), and search the vehicle.
“BEST SPOT EVER!” says Tommy after the police leave. He wasn’t sober.
Later, more high schoolers came over the to abandoned SUV and ask where their friends are. Then all of us get to say… “YEAH. They’re in jail.”
Would you like a cherry atop this sloppy sundae of stupid? Here you go. One of the sets of kiddos who came by asked for descriptions of the ones who were taken away. “Where they wearing a green polo?” asks one guy. “It couldn’t have been a guy with a pink button down shirt right?” asks another.
When none of us could recall either of those guys being handcuffed in a lawn chair, so when we shook our heads the quote of the day was laid upon us.
“GOOD!” says some random high school boy, “Those guys are hosting the after party later.”
As they stumbled away from our tailgating spot and the crazy day was winding down Tommy said his line again. I couldn’t agree more. The dressed up, classy, tipsy, “Oh look at the pretty horses who run fast” type of day wasn’t what I had imagined. But this was certainly entertaining. So ENCORE Tommy. ENCORE…
“BEST SPOT EVER!”