First of all I would like to thank all who took the time to comment, text, email, or respond on Facebook to the questions posed yesterday in my post about Becky’s opinion of my cohabitation status. This little blog of mine had more views than it ever has in one day! Truly… crazy amounts of traffic and responses happened yesterday!
Just so it’s clear, Becky’s comments never really made me question the decision the Bill and I have made. To be honest I’m so comfortable with our status now that Bill had no idea I was going to blog about this topic yesterday, and he found out along with the rest of you that I did. Lol. Thank heaven he knows that I don’t question the call I’ve made in moving to Nashville. We talk about how much its changed us and how grateful we both are for our current status quite a bit.
Nonetheless hearing all of your opinions was very interesting. I was really enthralled in reading it all, and unlike in my convo with Becky I felt no judgement. That being said, boy did the responses vary! I don’t think that this is an issue where it is a simple black and white answer. In for reasons other than religious, there have been many studies done on the topic as well. The religious reasons around this topic are still something that Bill and I need to go over together more, so I’m going to leave that type of analysis out of this blog. Maybe one day this blog will get to religious topics, but not today. Even though it is scientific, some of the “info” that Becky may have had to send my way would’ve included some of the following.
From a simple google search several recent articles published this year came up quickly… all basing off a New York Times Editorial piece called “The Downside of Cohabitation” http://www.nytimes.com/2012/04/15/opinion/sunday/the-downside-of-cohabiting-before-marriage.html?pagewanted=1&_r=3& Go ahead and take a gander at the article. It caused quite the response in counter-editorials published elsewhere stating that the clinical psychologist who originally gave her opinion was full of crap.
BUT… what I’d really like for you to do is read that NYT editorial piece alllllllll the way to the end. Did you do it? Good. You clearly saw that the author admits that cohabitation is really here to stay. It’s a pattern of relationship development that too many people see as a good idea right now. So this “debate” that some believe exists in fact does not. Again this is from a completely scientific and research side of this topic and not a religious one.
What I liked about the editorial piece is that not only did it admit that the practice of cohabitation isn’t going away, but it also didn’t slander the idea. It even states that the unfavorable connection between cohabitation and divorce does seem to be lessening. At the end of the piece the author simple called for people to avoid using cohabitation as a test or a postponement for eventual marriage. A notion I can agree with. Also, there is a great quote at the end of the article that states “The best time to work on someone’s marriage is before he or she has one.”
That quote is one that Bill and I couldn’t agree with more! We feel like that is exactly what we are doing right now, and we both believe that we will eventually get married. For right now though, I’m lucky to be cohabitating with a man like Bill. And that eventual wedding day… well… it will only make me luckier.